Every Other Heartbroken Fool
by ClevelandtoCharolette
Summary: TSFT! SPOILERS AHOY! Gemma is heartbroken after the events that happened in the Winterlands. Felicity has been heartbroken since Pippa's death. But can Felicity help Gemma from depression and accept the new dawn? NO FEMMA! FEE LOVED PIP!


**Summary: Post TSFT. SPOILERS AHOY!! Gemma is heartbroken after the events that happened in the Winterlands. Felicity has been heartbroken since Pippa's death. But can Felicity help Gemma from depression and accept the new dawn?**

**Rating: K for...Yeah**

**Disclaimer: I don't own The Gemma Doyle Trilogy. If I did, would Kartik be dead? NO! HE'D BE ALIVE AND SEXIER THEN EVER!!**

**I can't believe Kartik's dead. I still can't look at his death page without sobbing. IT SUCKS! I don't hate Libba Bray. I think she's amazing (I've MET HER!!!) and I'm sure she has a logical explanation for killing Kartik. I wish it knew what it was...**

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Felicity Worthington and Gemma Doyle were best friends. They shared many things; father's who hurt them in some sort of way, a thirst for power and to be different (Though in Ms. Worthington's case, it was much stronger). They shared a secret; both had kissed a Gypsy man.

Not unheard of in anyway, but their reasons for the kiss had been entirely different. Bold Ms. Worthington had kissed Ithal, who seemed to more or less lead the Gypsies, just to test the waters. To strike out at the corseted society she hated so, for she had no love for him. Ms. Worthington had no love for _men_ as it would seem. She deeply loved her best friend, Ms. Pippa Cross, who was sadly deceased and corrupted. Ithal had been nothing more then a tool in Ms. Worthington's game. Life was a game to her, and she meant to win it.

Ms. Doyle on the other hand kissed Kartik out of love. Kartik was an Indian, a member of a group called the Rakshana who wanted the power to enter a magical place called the Realms, a power which resided in Gemma. Skin color, class, nationality, the Rakshana and the Order had kept these to passionate lovers from each other. But their love was strong, even through death. Kartik was gone, not a fortnight ago. And Ms. Doyle was beside herself with grief.

The two friends, Ms. Doyle and Ms. Worthington, sit on a grassy hill, overlooking the cemetery at the back of their boarding school. They are very quiet, for Ms. Doyle has now become a woman of few words in her grief. But she speaks now.

"I think I understand how you feel now Fee." She whispers. Ms. Worthington turns to look at her friend, who was sitting as though to protect herself. Knees drawn to chest, arms locked around legs, back hunched. Ms. Doyle goes on.

"When Pippa died," Ms. Worthington stiffens, but Ms. Doyle takes no notice. "You were in pain, you felt you were damaged. I understand now what it must've been like to watch someone you loved so intently be buried." Ms. Doyle gives a bitter laugh, her eyes turning red from suppressed tears.

"It's bloody awful!" She chokes. Ms. Worthington reaches out a hand and gently puts it on her friends arm. "It doesn't get better." Ms. Worthington says slowly. "Everyone says it does, but it doesn't. It's a hole. A giant gaping hole in your chest and you feel you could just drown in misery. And sometimes, you want to." Ms. Worthington gives a shaky sigh.

"Every time we went to the Realms, and I saw Pip, it was like that hole was never there. I was healed; I was, if you pardon the pun, whole. But every time we left, it hurt again." Ms. Doyle is crying by now. Soft, steady tears, coating her sun kissed face.

"Yet you saw Pip. Even after death, you were with her. K-Kartik," His name still hurts her lips, pulls her heart. "I shall never see him again. He is there in my dreams, but so far away. I feel like I could reach my hand out and grasp him, but I cannot. He is farther then I imagine. And that knowledge alone kills me." Ms. Doyle turns to her friend, her startling green eyes moist and pleading. Pleading Ms. Worthington to take away the pain, for without the magic Ms. Doyle once held for herself, without it, she feels utterly lost.

Ms. Doyle has always been the one to save the day, Ms. Worthington realizes this now. Never has she realized what sort of burden her friend must carry, always helping others whilst feeling lost and broken inside. Ms. Doyle's only moment of true life must've been with Kartik. Just as Ms. Worthington was alive with Ms. Cross.

But Ms. Worthington also had other things to live for. Maybe it was the corruption of Ms. Cross that changed her mind, but now Ms. Worthington lived for freedom. To go to Paris, to save her cousin from her dastardly father.

But, Ms. Worthington suddenly wonders, what of Ms. Doyle? What does Ms. Doyle, so heartbroken, what does _she_ have to live for now? Will this be how she goes on with her life? Pitifully crushed, a cracked picture of a once spirited girl? Ms. Cross left Ms. Worthington of her own free will. She chose to die to escape wedlock. She chose not to cross over, where she and Ms. Worthington could've been happy together one day. She chose corruption.

Not Kartik though. He stayed with Ms. Doyle to the bitter end. He chose the Tree, yes, but in some respect, he had no control over it. Ms. Doyle must blame herself in someway. Grief does that to you, but not only that, it was Ms. Doyle who plunged the dagger into the Tree of All Souls, releasing its magic. It was Ms. Doyle who did not listen to the Gorgon's warning and get Kartik out of their fast enough. And so, concluded Ms. Worthington, the grief of Ms. Doyle was overpoweringly strong. For, Ms. Worthington had felt no grief when Ms. Cross died. If it was anyone's blame, it was Ms. Doyle's. But Ms. Worthington did not blame her friend.

Ms. Worthington stands up and stares down at Ms. Doyle. "Wait here, I think I have an idea." She says. Ms. Worthington tares off to the school, leaving Ms. Doyle sitting behind, sad and confused. Ms. Worthington returns ten minutes later, a parchment of paper, a writing utensil, and a bow of matches in her hand. She then grabs Ms. Doyle's hand and drags her to the lake.

She hands the materials, save for the matches, to her friend. "Write. Write whatever you want to Kartik. Tell him goodbye. Write whatever would help you move on. Do it. Now." Ms. Doyle stares at her friend, but sits down, and starts writing. Ms. Worthington plops down besides her, watching Ms. Doyle's face intently.

It takes only fifteen minutes for Ms. Doyle to write the note. She cries through the whole thing, spotting the page with her tears. But by the end, her face has cleared up, and she stares at Ms. Worthington fir further instructions. Ms. Worthington is in a slight shock though. It took her two days to write this letter for her darling Pip. Two long, terrible, heart wrenching days. For Ms. Worthington's love is frowned upon by society. To the world, she lost her best friend. Unlike Ms. Doyle, who could voice her heart broken from love, Ms. Worthington could not.

Ms. Worthington and Ms. Doyle stand up and Ms. Worthington takes the letter from Ms. Doyle's hand, folding it carefully so as not to glimpse the heartbroken words within. Ms. Worthington holds the letter precariously between two fingers over the lake. She hands the matches to Ms. Doyle.

"Gem, light a match and burn the letter. The wind will carry the ashes. It helps. I promise." Ms. Doyle stares uncertainly at her friend. She strikes the match all the same, but holds it, starring into the flames. She doesn't want to let go, anyone could see that. But, Ms. Doyle knows she must. For her sake, and for Kartik's sake.

She holds the match to the letter, and lights it. It takes all of thirty seconds to burn and, just as Ms. Worthington promised, the wind carries away the ashes. More tears coated Ms. Doyle's face now.

"Help at all?" Ms. Worthington asked hopefully. She knows it will not heal everything, but it provides a closer of sorts. Ms. Doyle laughs through her tears, shaking her head.

"No. But thank you Fee." She looks up towards the sky. A storm is threatening, but Ms. Doyle is lost in it all, not caring at all. "I think I suffer from one of the wounds only time will heal."

Ms. Worthington puts her hand on her friends shoulder. "It won't heal. But it will numb over. And in time, you'll accept it. Just as I've accepted it, and every other heart broken fool on this earth has accepted it."

Ms. Doyle smiles and hugs her friend. "Thank you Fee."

Ms. Worthington shocked at first that her friend would hug her, as she is a degenerate, softens and hugs back. "Don't thank me; Thank every other heart broken fool on the earth."

And Ms. Doyle broke into the first true smile in days.

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**Okay, as a note, there is no Femma hintings here, no matter what you would think. They've both suffered heart break, and thats it. NO FEMMA! FELICITY LOVED PIPPA! NOT GEMMA! Who else besides me saw that coming anyways? Hmm? (counts hands) wow. Anyways, please R&R. I wrote this in a hour...Wow...**


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